Wednesday, March 18, 2009

Confessions of a Recovering Narcoleptic

"Narcolepsy is a chronic sleep disorder (a dyssomnia) characterized by overwhelming daytime drowsiness and sudden attacks of sleep. The condition is most characterized by excessive daytime sleepiness (EDS), in which a person experiences extreme tiredness and possibly falls asleep during the day at inappropriate times, such as at work or school." (Thanks, Wikipedia!)

No, I do not clinically have narcolepsy, but as a result of being a very pregnant mother of three busy boys I have developed some very (humorous) narcoleptic-like symptoms. The most obvious symptom would be my irrational ability to fall asleep in the most unlikely places and while doing the most unlikely things.

Recently I have been dealing with a few particularly difficult days (brought on by my pregnancy-induced anemia and hypoglycemia, I would suspect) and seem to fall asleep practically every other minute. Some of the more obvious conditions that seduced me into momentary slumber included read-aloud time with the boys (cuddling up on the coach is a sure-fire way to sing me to sleep, even when I'm the one reading), Elijah's read-aloud time to me (I parked us at the kitchen table for this one, hopeful that the hard wooden chair would keep me awake and vigilant. But alas, apparently I am able to succumb even when uncomfortable), attempting to soak away my weary muscles by reading in the bathtub (this is simply a surefire way to end up with a soggy book) and while watching a movie with Kevin (even if it was only 8pm and it was an exciting adventure movie - Quantum of Solace is not typically considered a lullaby by most . . .).

Some of the more unusual places that I have drifted off include sitting on a stool next to Kaden in the bathroom as he potty trained (cold hard seat . . . cold hard wall . . . 3 year old perilously perched on the porcelain . . . oh yeah, I can totally see what beckoned me), reading Eli his short story problems in math (one sentence and I was out!), during a particularly powerful and exciting bible study by Beth Moore (if it was boring and monotone falling asleep might not be a big surprise, but she is loud and boisterous and very engaging at all times . . . huh?), taking a shower (I just had to close my eyes for a second since the warm, steamy water was so wonderfully relaxing. Good thing I was leaning against the shower wall or may have dealt with a concussion from this one), eating breakfast (this was a close, almost face full of milk and cereal encounter), while writing this blogggggggggggggggg............... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........

What?! Huh?!

Okay, maybe I'm not quite that bad, but it feels as though I could become a sleep causality at any moment and must be steadily on my guard. I have to be especially careful while driving, as you can imagine how dangerous I could be to everyone on the road (not to mention to my dear, sweet, unsuspecting kiddos in the car with me)! Please pray that I will be able to overcome this recent malady so that nothing too traumatic happens to me and the boys (the idea of the face full of milk and cereal still frightens me . . . ). :)

Hello, my name is Heather and I am a recovering Narcoleptic.


Joie said...

that is too funny, and seriously dangerous! maybe you should not drive for awhile.....or at least give yourself a small caffeine jolt before you drive.
i can't help ya with the breakfast thing though...guess you just better decide what would give you the best facial, LOL!
I'm praying for ya!

Joy said...

Ha! Ha! I remember this all too well. I used to lay on the floor and told the kids to drive their toy cars on me while I got a good nap!

Kelli in real life said...

I can totally understand and agree. Yesterday I fell asleep while Canaan and I were supposed to be reading a story. When I woke up an hour had passed, he had turned on Dora and was eating a candy cane he took from my purse. Thankfully he cant reach the stove : )
Sweet Rest! : )

Lindsey Clair said...

You poor thing. I will definitely be praying for you. Though I am not experiencing those symptoms I am extremely tired. Just think we are 31 weeks pregnant, almost there girl :) HUGS